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I have reached a point in my life where I need to learn from my past and use those years as a lesson to build a more positive future for myself and Nadia.
I have created what I have become and I have made the choice to change. I know my past actions do not reflect a good track record of the choices I have made over the past 15 years and I need to take this opportunity to make that change.
I wrote some words earlier that I shared with the my closest friends and they were very hard words of how I felt about my relationship with mother. I am very appreciative for my mother being there and helping me over the years, but it has not helped me in any way be a better parent. I relied upon her to help raise my child. I thought over the years buying my daughters love was all that was needed. It was not! She needed me and still needs me.
I know that moving across the country is not the answer. I do know that I have an opportunity to get into the federal government and use that to help me better my situation. I need to learn to cook, I need to learn to be a single parent. I need Nadia to realize that I am her mother and I am here for her. She needs to know that she is my world and I live for her.
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It will be hard moving away from my family & friends. It will be hard moving so far away that I just can't get in the car and drive or fly in one day to see them. It will be hard not to just pick up the telephone and say hey meet me for coffee. It will be hard to pull Nadia away from things that she has gotten use to. It will be hard to just call my mom up and say can you watch Nadia for the night. I need this... I just hope my family can deal with this and stand behind me.
I have created what I have become and I have made the choice to change. I know my past actions do not reflect a good track record of the choices I have made over the past 15 years and I need to take this opportunity to make that change.
I wrote some words earlier that I shared with the my closest friends and they were very hard words of how I felt about my relationship with mother. I am very appreciative for my mother being there and helping me over the years, but it has not helped me in any way be a better parent. I relied upon her to help raise my child. I thought over the years buying my daughters love was all that was needed. It was not! She needed me and still needs me.
I know that moving across the country is not the answer. I do know that I have an opportunity to get into the federal government and use that to help me better my situation. I need to learn to cook, I need to learn to be a single parent. I need Nadia to realize that I am her mother and I am here for her. She needs to know that she is my world and I live for her.
~
It will be hard moving away from my family & friends. It will be hard moving so far away that I just can't get in the car and drive or fly in one day to see them. It will be hard not to just pick up the telephone and say hey meet me for coffee. It will be hard to pull Nadia away from things that she has gotten use to. It will be hard to just call my mom up and say can you watch Nadia for the night. I need this... I just hope my family can deal with this and stand behind me.
Ciao, Mixitalian
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