So...Friends
Well over the past 8 years I have made new friends and lost some along the way. I also grew tight with a few named Angelique, Lea & Tenisha. I grew apart from some not by choice but by the choices of there actions.
Great Friends
This makes me think of a time when I was working for Flextronics, and they had me traveling all over that I was not able to help a friend move from Atlanta, Georgia to Washington D.C. So I asked a very good friend of mine, who at the time could also use a new tenant in his rental property that he was managing. So I asked him to fly down to Atlanta to help her pack her things and then help her drive to Washington D.C. He agreed and did it because he was my friend, thank you Stephen. I am sorry for the way she acted and the way she treated you afterwards. Let's just say it didn't go very well. My Ex-Friend decided to show some amazing colors that I didn't even know existed. While my friend was being HER, I was trying to analyze why I was even friends with her. This is where I go back in time to explain how I even became friends of a friend. Angelique had known this girl from the west coast and was best friends with her, whenever she would come in town to see Ang, in the beginning I would not hang when she was around. After I time I decided to give her a shot and I threw her a small little birthday gathering in the snow about 3 years back and we were cool. So I said hey she seems to be okay and we grew closer. Now my friends we may not talk all the time but they know that I care and would do anything for them. I know my real friends could just call me out of the blue and we would talk like it was just yesterday (even though real time had passed). This is the place where my Internet ADD has taken place!
~
Well after the above crap took placed I decided to limit my communication and weed myself out of her daily life. Which in that world is not hard to do. To make matters even worse and to totally cut myself from her, she decided to have a 30th Bday this year in 2009. My BFF Ang came out to celebrate a few Bday's (Lea, Nay, & Cindy) its okay that she will be missing mine..but we do have something better in store. The Ex-Friend has a lot of clicks in the DC area and so many people who were trying to do things for her but instead no one was communicating with Ang, who is real best friend in the area for over 10 years. Ang who had made numerous attempts to try and figure out what she wanted was like you know what.. I am done! Ang wrote her a nice note about herself and left the ball in her court. Let's just say we got the memo from facebook. This is how WE get DE-FRIENDED!
~
Here is something I posted on Facebook that truly helped me realize what being a real friend is about!
~
Peep this: I have very few true friends, perhaps only two or three or four at the most.
That’s because a true friend, as I define it, is someone who would stop their own life to come to help me despite the fact that there was no incentive or quite possibly even risk or pain for them to do so. That is true friendship to me and it falls right up there with a level of love that is as powerful as the bond of a family.
Very few people I know meet this criteria.
There are five simple rules that you can analyze to see if your friend is truly a friend from the heart, or someone who is just out to get what they want from you. A good friend will score at least a 3 out of 5 and a genuine friend will score no less than 5 out of 5.
1. Self-sacrifice
This is the willingness to help you even though it might be a burden, pain, or risk for themselves. You may do everything to help her out, but if and when you need help, would she give you back the same level of help that you extended to her? If the answer is “no,” then be careful.
2. Genuine time-sharing
This is an important test of the true synergy in a friendship. Ask yourself, when you spend time together, are you spending time just to enjoy each other’s company and companionship in connected synergy with no other strings attached? …or do you find that you only spend time together when your “friend” needs help or something from you?
If the answer is the latter, then be careful—this is a sign of a manipulator.
3. Honesty
This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of interpersonal connectedness of the relationship.
A true friend will tell you personal things, with complete trust that you will not use it against them later on. Also a true friend will not keep information from you even though it is something that you might not want to hear or that might hurt you, if they felt it was the right thing to do.
4. Interest
How interested is the other person about your life? If you are doing something important, do they call and follow up with you? If they don’t seem interested about you or your life at all, then be careful.
The deeper the friendship, the better the questions they will ask of you. Real friends will want to know how you are emotionally and physically, how you are doing professionally, how your heart is doing, and they seem to dig a little deeper than the superficial “elevator talk” that usually just consists of how your day is going and what’s new.
5. Integrity
This is the ability to keep your word and do as you say you will. I’ve noticed that with fake friends, their integrity level is not so high. If they say they will call you tomorrow and don’t, then that is a lack of integrity. If they say they will do something and either forget or use the more infamous “I’m too busy today,” line then they lack integrity.
On the note of “busy,” in my time management courses, I tell people that so much can be done on any given day and it just comes down to proper planning and knowing you’re your priorities are. When I hear someone tell me that they are too busy or that they forgot to call, then I what I really hear instead, is that I am not as important as other things in their life right now, so that is a red-flag to me that they are not a true friend because their level of integrity is poor.
Hold people accountable for their words because when it boils down to trust—your word is your bond.
~
All of my friends that I have now have showed all 5 characters at some point. They ask about Nadia and how she is doing, they are concerned not just when they need a club partner but when they just feel like it. I am truly blessed to have the friends that I have. I am not sure who I would be if they were not in my life. I hope I have been the same to them and if I haven't please HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!
Thank you Ang, Cindy, Lea & Tenisha
Tanti Baci..Mixitalian
Great Friends
This makes me think of a time when I was working for Flextronics, and they had me traveling all over that I was not able to help a friend move from Atlanta, Georgia to Washington D.C. So I asked a very good friend of mine, who at the time could also use a new tenant in his rental property that he was managing. So I asked him to fly down to Atlanta to help her pack her things and then help her drive to Washington D.C. He agreed and did it because he was my friend, thank you Stephen. I am sorry for the way she acted and the way she treated you afterwards. Let's just say it didn't go very well. My Ex-Friend decided to show some amazing colors that I didn't even know existed. While my friend was being HER, I was trying to analyze why I was even friends with her. This is where I go back in time to explain how I even became friends of a friend. Angelique had known this girl from the west coast and was best friends with her, whenever she would come in town to see Ang, in the beginning I would not hang when she was around. After I time I decided to give her a shot and I threw her a small little birthday gathering in the snow about 3 years back and we were cool. So I said hey she seems to be okay and we grew closer. Now my friends we may not talk all the time but they know that I care and would do anything for them. I know my real friends could just call me out of the blue and we would talk like it was just yesterday (even though real time had passed). This is the place where my Internet ADD has taken place!
~
Well after the above crap took placed I decided to limit my communication and weed myself out of her daily life. Which in that world is not hard to do. To make matters even worse and to totally cut myself from her, she decided to have a 30th Bday this year in 2009. My BFF Ang came out to celebrate a few Bday's (Lea, Nay, & Cindy) its okay that she will be missing mine..but we do have something better in store. The Ex-Friend has a lot of clicks in the DC area and so many people who were trying to do things for her but instead no one was communicating with Ang, who is real best friend in the area for over 10 years. Ang who had made numerous attempts to try and figure out what she wanted was like you know what.. I am done! Ang wrote her a nice note about herself and left the ball in her court. Let's just say we got the memo from facebook. This is how WE get DE-FRIENDED!
~
Here is something I posted on Facebook that truly helped me realize what being a real friend is about!
~
Peep this: I have very few true friends, perhaps only two or three or four at the most.
That’s because a true friend, as I define it, is someone who would stop their own life to come to help me despite the fact that there was no incentive or quite possibly even risk or pain for them to do so. That is true friendship to me and it falls right up there with a level of love that is as powerful as the bond of a family.
Very few people I know meet this criteria.
There are five simple rules that you can analyze to see if your friend is truly a friend from the heart, or someone who is just out to get what they want from you. A good friend will score at least a 3 out of 5 and a genuine friend will score no less than 5 out of 5.
1. Self-sacrifice
This is the willingness to help you even though it might be a burden, pain, or risk for themselves. You may do everything to help her out, but if and when you need help, would she give you back the same level of help that you extended to her? If the answer is “no,” then be careful.
2. Genuine time-sharing
This is an important test of the true synergy in a friendship. Ask yourself, when you spend time together, are you spending time just to enjoy each other’s company and companionship in connected synergy with no other strings attached? …or do you find that you only spend time together when your “friend” needs help or something from you?
If the answer is the latter, then be careful—this is a sign of a manipulator.
3. Honesty
This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of interpersonal connectedness of the relationship.
A true friend will tell you personal things, with complete trust that you will not use it against them later on. Also a true friend will not keep information from you even though it is something that you might not want to hear or that might hurt you, if they felt it was the right thing to do.
4. Interest
How interested is the other person about your life? If you are doing something important, do they call and follow up with you? If they don’t seem interested about you or your life at all, then be careful.
The deeper the friendship, the better the questions they will ask of you. Real friends will want to know how you are emotionally and physically, how you are doing professionally, how your heart is doing, and they seem to dig a little deeper than the superficial “elevator talk” that usually just consists of how your day is going and what’s new.
5. Integrity
This is the ability to keep your word and do as you say you will. I’ve noticed that with fake friends, their integrity level is not so high. If they say they will call you tomorrow and don’t, then that is a lack of integrity. If they say they will do something and either forget or use the more infamous “I’m too busy today,” line then they lack integrity.
On the note of “busy,” in my time management courses, I tell people that so much can be done on any given day and it just comes down to proper planning and knowing you’re your priorities are. When I hear someone tell me that they are too busy or that they forgot to call, then I what I really hear instead, is that I am not as important as other things in their life right now, so that is a red-flag to me that they are not a true friend because their level of integrity is poor.
Hold people accountable for their words because when it boils down to trust—your word is your bond.
~
All of my friends that I have now have showed all 5 characters at some point. They ask about Nadia and how she is doing, they are concerned not just when they need a club partner but when they just feel like it. I am truly blessed to have the friends that I have. I am not sure who I would be if they were not in my life. I hope I have been the same to them and if I haven't please HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE!
Thank you Ang, Cindy, Lea & Tenisha
Tanti Baci..Mixitalian
Sorry for using the middle finger.. I know its very inappropriate.
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